In light of recent event that happened Monday, I have decided to take another detour in my blog. I promise some day the one entry I've been trying to write for months will actually get done. (Saying that more as a promise to myself)
Earlier this year me and my husband have joined the world of Cosplay! We attended two conventions where we dressed up as a Steam Punk Ariel and Eric from Little Mermaid. We even did a Disneybound when we went to Disneyland. And dressed up for our Primary Party. (My husband is a good sport of being the accessory to my Ariel:)
Last week we attended Masquerade Ball that we waited all year for. We went as fancier versions of them. I found a fancier version of Ariel's "Kiss The Girl" dress that Disney did for one of their doll collections and with the help of my wonderful seamstress friend she helped my vision become a reality! Making it my own, but still very Ariel and nautical.
Our costumes were fantastic! I really felt like Princess Ariel! We had a mini photo shoot before the ball with our awesome photographer, Laura Bellamy. That turned out amazing! We had a wonderful time at the ball.
On Monday I decided to post the pictures that Laura took on the Disney Cosplay Group on Facebook.
I got a marvelous response from people and great compliments on my costume. Everything was very positive, until, I got one post...
One guy from the group decided that he did not like my pictures and decided to tell me so.
I must say it's been a long time since I've been picked on for my looks. And at age 27 I really wasn't expecting it to happen again. I'm not in Jr. High anymore! I opened my notifications to find this response:
"I'm sorry but a horse-face does NOT make a good cosplay!" He then later edited his comment to make some sort of mention that I had "horse teeth" and some other derogatory comments about my face and essentially how I shouldn't cosplay because according to him I didn't look right doing it.
I was completely shocked. I really did not know what to think. Or really what to do.
One thing I don't comprehend is rudeness. I really just can't get my head around it. Not saying I'm perfect or that I've never been rude in my life. But the fact that someone could think something like that, let alone feel it is okay to say something like that to another person, that they don't even know is completely beyond me.
I in fact, do have many oral problems with my face that I am in the process of fixing. Which is what this blog is going to be about. (Spoiler alert) And I have to be very aware, especially in pictures to bring my jaw and my chin forward to look presentable. Some of the first shots, which I'm sure are the ones he was referring to, I wasn't quite comfortable in front of the camera yet, so I hadn't brought them forward enough. My jaw was more receded and exposed more of the gums in my smile. So those pictures are really not the best of me. But I liked them anyway, and I am comfortable enough with myself and my face that I could post maybe what the world would consider not the most "ascetically pleasing" pictures of me.
I told my husband Aaron about it, and my Mom and even Laura my photographer who were completely livid with this guy, and I'm sure would have loved to punch him in the face. But I need to tell you something,
I was not upset.
I wasn't hurt by this man's inconsideration.
A few years ago, something like this would have completely destroyed me. It would have sent me into a deep depression, and into hiding my "shameful face" But this time it didn't. And it doesn't. There were many things I was feeling on the surface. But it almost felt like all the emotions were laid out on a table and I was walking up and down the length of it, looking at what was before me and I got to CHOSE how I was going to feel. And this time probably the first time in my life I chose differently then any other time before.
I wasn't going to allow this guy to take my Peace. I wasn't going to let him destroy, by one thoughtless comment what took me years to build up. That was mine! And I wasn't going to let him touch it.
I wasn't going to allow this guy to take my Peace. I wasn't going to let him destroy, by one thoughtless comment what took me years to build up. That was mine! And I wasn't going to let him touch it.
Who was this man anyway? This complete stranger? This BULLY to tell me that I shouldn't cosplay because of the way I looked?? That in his eyes I was somehow unacceptable. That he had some right to judge that? That I couldn't be a Princess in my own right? That I can't be Princess Ariel? This guy gets to tell me that?
NOT. A. CHANCE.
I started to draft a response to him and then I stopped. Because I realized there was nothing I could say to him that that would get him to feel any sort of remorse for what he said to me. Because he was a bully. And he was going to see things the way he wanted to see them whether they were correct or not. He was going to say things the way he wanted to say them whether they had any sort of truth. And I didn't owe him any sort of explanation. I didn't need to tell him my story. Because he doesn't deserve to hear it. And I make no apologies for who I am and what I look like.
As I was realizing and feeling all this and trying to figure out what to do, the comment was removed from the post. I thought maybe someone else who saw it reported him and had it removed. It turns out one of the admins saw it, removed his comment and removed him permanently from the group. She apologized in an email and again on the post that they didn't catch it when it was first posted.
"This group is a safe place to post, we do not allow anyone to break anyone else down or even try. I love your cosplay I think you look lovely. Stay strong and beautiful!"
That was victory enough for me. One of the Group rules is: "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all" which I think more and more of our society could use. I received an outpouring of love from people. Currently there is 100 "Likes" and 41 comments on my pictures and that's what I chose to focus on. The good totally outweighed the bad.
There was a small part of me, for the briefest moment, maybe a fraction of a second was tempted to take that post down, but I decided against it. Because if I took that down, if I decided to cower in shame, that guy wins. And I won't let anyone have that kind of victory over me anymore.
"Everyday...everyday you're not dead in the ground and you wake up in the mornin', you gonna have to make some decisions. Gotta ask yourself this question; am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools said about me today? You hear me? Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today? Alright?"
More Pictures From The Masquerade Ball https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.748711815164003.1073741838.570735572961629&type=1
